A tiger walks into a liquor store…there’s no punchline here.
Is that… a frisbee?
He just wants to play catch
What I love is that it obviously takes the person at the counter a few seconds to process that that is in fact a tiger.
Like, you kinda see their brain going “dog, nope, cat, big cat, big cat with stripes, SHIT, tiger!!!”
And the two people who go dashing out with the distinctive “I have just encountered an unexpected tiger SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT” run.
I like that the second guy leaves the chips or whatever those are. Like, he’s running and falling because TIGER but he will not accidentally shoplift
Imagine everyone who sends you anon hate as a 12 year old superwehrolock fan who didn’t get a good breakfast and can’t find any good apps for their phone. The neighborhood kid across the street doesn’t like them as anything more than a friend, and they are anxious about the 7th grade and what new challenges it will bring.
This is Duolingo, a language-learning website/app that deserves some serious recognition. It offers over 10 languages for English speakers, as well as courses for non-English speakers around the world, and they’re in the process of adding more.
But wait, I don’t want to do any more schoolwork! Not to worry little one, Duolingo is actually more like a game. You can compete with friends, and earn “lingots” (which are basically Duolingo money) to buy power-ups, extra activities, and bonus skills - like Flirting.
I’m already taking a language, what do I need this for?
It’s not really a secret that most school language courses (in America, anyway) suck and only teach you to speak the language at about a third grader’s level. Which is why Duolingo is so freaking awesome.
Teachers can’t give every student individualized attention, but Duolingo can. If you’re not learning the way you want to or as much as you want to in the classroom, Duolingo is a really great resource. It’s easy, tailored to you, and really effective.
Duolingo tracks your progress and reminds you when you haven’t studied for a while or need a refresher on something. Already semi-fluent in a language? No problem, just take a shortcut to more advanced subjects or test out of the lesson.
The lessons start with the basics (he, she, hello, thank you, etc) and move up to harder stuff. Duolingo focuses on vocabulary first, so you can learn the language and then the grammar that goes with it - much simpler than the system most schools use. It also tracks the number of words you’ve learned and how well you know them.
And you don’t even have to write out the flashcards!
Duolingo is perfect for reviewing everything you forgot over the summer or giving you the extra help you need. And if you’re trying to learn a language on your own, it’s fantastic - you don’t have to create your own lessons. Whether you’re trying to learn your second, third, or fifth language, I seriously recommend Duolingo.
Okay, what else?
Duolingo also has discussion boards, where you can ask for help with a hard lesson, make new friends, watch for updates, and share your achievements.
Even better is the Immersion feature. It won’t send you to Spain or France, but it’s pretty awesome. Duolingo takes real articles from the internet, which users translate. You can translate articles from your native language into the language you’re learning or vice versa, which gives you more experience and makes the Internet more universal.
You can suggest new languages and track Duolingo’s progress in creating new courses. Bilinguals (older than 13) can help to create these courses. Duolingo has a long list of courses that can be contributed to, like Punjabi, Hebrew, and Vietnamese. Oh, and Dothraki, Klingon, Sindarin, and Esperanto.
And the best part? IT’S COMPLETELY FREE.
If you love languages or just want to pass French class this year, USE DUOLINGO. Download the app and practice a language while you wait for the bus instead of playing Angry Birds!
Coolest app I’ve ever downloaded.
- purposefully forget their names
- any time yr talking about anything outside the realm of COD, energy drinks, or football, pause and giggle and say “oh, but sorry - you wouldn’t know anything about this, right? we can change the subject”
- extension on #1: call him by the name of another boy w the same hair color as him. when he protests, laugh and act like he’s trying to trick u
- "hold this." stop acknowledging him for the remainder of the encounter until it is time to collect you bag/purse/coat/etc
- "sorry, what? i wasn’t listening" rinse and repeat
- tilt yr head. make a cute face. “awwwwww”
the boy tears in the notes are amazing
Solar energy that doesn’t block the view
A team of researchers at Michigan State University has developed a new type of solar concentrator that when placed over a window creates solar energy while allowing people to actually see through the window. It is called a transparent luminescent solar concentrator and can be used on buildings, cell phones and any other device that has a clear surface. And, according to Richard Lunt of MSU’s College of Engineering, the key word is “transparent.”
This is a story that isn’t getting the traction in the press that it should. I posted the case about Howard Morgan not long ago here.
Morgan was a veteran police officer in Chicago. He is black. He was shot 28 times by 4 white officers. 21 of those shots were administered to the back of his body. Morgan never fired a weapon, and a witness corroborated that. In fact, one of the officers took Morgan’s weapon away from him. Morgan was acquitted of aggravated discharge of a weapon in 2007.
Some key facts via this online petition
Howard Morgan’s van was crushed and destroyed without notice or cause before any forensic investigation could be done.
The State only produced 3 of the 28 bullets shot into and taken from Howard Morgan’s body, whereby the rest of the 25 bullets could have shown whether or not the police officers who shot Mr. Morgan shot him with his own gun after taking it from him.
Howard Morgan was never tested for gun residue to confirm if he even fired a weapon on the morning in question.
The State never produced the actual bullet proof vest worn by one of the officers who claimed to have allegedly taken a shot directly into the vest on the morning in question. The State only produced a replica.
Despite all this, and the fact that Morgan was earlier acquitted of firing his own weapon, Morgan was found guilty of attempted murder of the 4 white officers who shot him 28 times, with 21 of those shots having entry points on the back of his body. How does one not fire a weapon, get shot 28 times by four officers, and then be found guilty of attempted murder? It doesn’t make sense.
Morgan is set to be sentenced in April. More info here.
Since people insist on contacting to tell me “not all cops”, I’ll be reblogging old posts of the most egregious cases of police brutality. This isn’t about individual “nice” cops. This is about a systemic problem. Good cops are forced to tow the line or they will get dealt with. No one is denying that cops have a tough job. Who said they didn’t? Isn’t that what they signed up for? Don’t jump in the lion’s den and then complain about lions.
The case above is about a Black Chicago cop named Howard Morgan. Why his case didn’t gain national attention beats me. He was shot 28 times by fellow officers, and 21 of those shots came from behind. He survived somehow. One officer took his weapon away from him. Black cops are not safe either.
And note this again from atane’s original post:
Despite all this, and the fact that Morgan was earlier acquitted of firing his own weapon, Morgan was found guilty of attempted murder of the 4 white officers who shot him 28 times, with 21 of those shots having entry points on the back of his body. How does one not fire a weapon, get shot 28 times by four officers, and then be found guilty of attempted murder?
The hatred of black people in this country knows no bounds.
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.